Resumés

Most ridiculous things to appear on resumes

Below are some of the most 

ridiculous things people have 

put on their resumés:

ACCOMPLISHMENTS: 

• “Donated over three gallons of blood in my lifetime.”
• “I have a garage which rivals Iron Man for the purpose of building prototypes.”
• “My last client called me a god, so that was award enough.”

DUTIES: 

• “Entertain co-workers with wit and ability to eat large quantities of Siracha.”
• “Saying yes to everything and regretting it later.”

EXPERIENCE: 

• “2008-2011 — Self-employed — Illegal drug sales.”
• “Domestic engineer: Supervisory duties over 3 subordinates and 1 manager.”
• “I am a Jedi Master of software development.”
• “Plenty.”

HOBBIES: 

• “Hanging out with friends, watching old movies, online shopping at work.”
• “Watching Food Network, playing softball and sketching SpiderMan.”

INTEREST/HOBBIES: 

• “Gossipping.”

OBJECTIVE: 

• “To be able to wear feathers to work. Appropriately, of course.”
• “To become a billionaire.”
• “To find an office where I can enjoy great coffee, snacks, conversation and humour. This helps my productivity immensely.”

QUALIFICATIONS: 

• “I have incredibly entertaining hair.”

SALARY: 

• “My employment is not up for grabs to the highest bidder.”

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